So, It's called OCPD? Also, I'm sorry.

Sometimes in life you reach crossroads. Other times you reach the same crossroad, maybe from a different angle, but still the same crossroad. This morning I was reading up on stuff on the web feeling quite normal up until I made a discovery. But then again, what is normal? Behaviour is something that you can't compare to a benchmark. People might act similar, but nobody is to say who's different from who.

As I read through the article every symptom mentioned I could identify with. It's strange finding something that read as if it is your life that someone is describing. The article was on OCPD, Obsessive-compulsive personality disorder (wikipedia).

It is not a behaviour that started recently because ever since I can remember everything I have done was completed in the same way. Communicating, reasoning, interacting, completing tasks, writing exams, doing projects, learning, the list goes on.
In short, people suffering from OCPD set high standards for everything, literally, and as the article mentioned, the bar is sometimes set impossibly high, for themselves and everything or everyone around them.
It's a while since I stopped correcting people and telling them what they do is not right, so I crept back in my little shell, being unhappy with results. But I tried not to be bossy or look like a jerk. It also meant that I've been isolating myself from people as to avoid conflicting situations.

Currently I think that it won't vanish. But now that have identified it, I know it's abnormal and I can work on how I see things and how I handle people.

So to close off, I want to ask everyone that I have offended or treated in a bad way, for their forgiveness and I am truly sorry for treating you in that unpleasant way.

Johan